see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
