just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
smell my finger.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
