Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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