Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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