She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
