I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
