Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
