i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
