im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
