My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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