Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize