I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
