normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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