I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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