the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
