Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
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Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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