That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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