Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize