Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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