do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
