What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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