Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
