This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
