went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
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He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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