i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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