She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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