Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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