i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
