..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
