Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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