boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
