I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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