i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
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I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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