oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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