Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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