I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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