just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
