This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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