Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
