so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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