The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
