He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
