Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Too much gin, very little bucket
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
