butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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