don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
