I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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