Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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