but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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