i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
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i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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