please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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