It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
