I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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