Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its not stalking. its research.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
