her vagine was all disorganized.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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