so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Never underestimate the power of titties
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
