I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
