I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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