It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
