I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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