if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
