He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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