I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
