the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
