I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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