My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
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Do I have a choice?
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So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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