Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Please don't give away my fajitas
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
